Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
