a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Come on in and take your pants off
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