That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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