So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
