sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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