Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
