why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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