No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
