You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Randomize
