shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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