Your dad touched me again.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
