And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
