why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
