i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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