A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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