the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
