so explain again why im purple
no
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
