Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
