I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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