where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
