Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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