i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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