No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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