I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I deserve this hangover.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
