Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize