Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
