Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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