Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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