I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize