i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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