I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize