Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
