His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
