if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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