i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
