I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
not ubering you a puppy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
