2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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