the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Houston, we have a squirter
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
