Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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