Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
