found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
