he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
