Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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