i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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