That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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