Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
