so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
