life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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