I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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