i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
