babies were throwing up all over the place
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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