I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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