yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
