12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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