You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
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You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
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Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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