I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
