Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
