I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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