remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
