some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
