i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
