her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
