he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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